All Strides Lengthen in a Race
by Luce Red
Summary: The Hokuto Cup Tournament brought Yashirou to the attention of Go-watchers in Tokyo, but he has to find his own path first. Off-stage Hikaru/Akira


Title: All Strides Lengthen in a Race  
Author: Luce Red  
Series: Hikaru no Go  
Disclaimer: characters owned by Hotta and Obata, Shueisha, Jump and their affiliated parts.  
Notes/Pairings: Some gratuitous Japanese. Overuse of ellipsis. Hint of HikaruAkira.  
Summary: The Hokuto Cup Tournament brought Yashirou to the attention of Go-watchers in Tokyo, but he has to find his own path first.

---------------

Yashirou heard them before he realized they had arrived. Touya Akira and Shindou Hikaru, two of the brightest stars of the Japanese Go world. He'd come to know Shindou and Touya during the first Hokuto Cup tournament, but he still wasn't used to lumping himself with the other Tokyo pros, even if they been the team that made players from other countries sit up and take notice. He envied their antagonistic yet easy familiarity towards each other.

"5-6." The voice was soft, but firm, entirely in character for the speaker.

"Oh, I see where you think you're going with this, Touya. I see your intentions and raise you. 8-6."

"As though your intentions are any less obvious, Shindou? 15-4."

They were waiting at exactly the wrong end of the station, but Yashirou attributed that to Shindou's influence. He approached them.

"Er…" Shindou shifted impatiently. "12-3."

"13-4."

"_13-4_? Okay, your loss. I know, 15-5."

A pause. "18-10."

"19-7. Wait, are you ignoring my atari?"

"Oh. 11-9, then. Thanks."

"Why, you!" He had come into view now, but they hadn't noticed him, too intent on each other.

"If you resign now, it'll only be half a moku," Touya said.

"Don't you mean six and a half? I'm white, you know. The moku is six and a half, right?"

A longer pause. "I thought I was white, and you're black."

"Absolutely not. You started, remember? _You_'re black." He could definitely imagine Shindou jabbing a finger in Touya's direction at that tone.

"No, you're black, and you started at 5-5, remember?" Touya said.

"You said 5-5 was a weird hand to start so we did it over and you started instead, at 3-5."

"…I'm sure I didn't." The hesitation was a little unlike Touya, however.

"Well, you're black, and I'm white. I remember thinking that."

"It's the other way round," Touya insisted.

"I need a Go board," Shindou groaned, before he paused, finally spotting him, and waved, even though they were nearly face to face. "Yashirou! Thanks for coming to meet us."

"Especially when it's Shindou, who needs a map just to get to the grocery store," Touya commented, seemingly oblivious to Shindou's shout of protest, and went on, "It's good to see you again, Yashirou. Really, it's very generous of your mother to offer to put us up for the tournament."

"Yeah. Especially with the hotel losing our reservation," Shindou grumbled. "And not making it up to us."

"It is the World Amateur Go Tournament. They're probably fully booked by now," Touya said.

"There're other hotels!" Shindou retorted, then glanced apologetically at Yashirou. "But thanks for letting us invade your home, Yashirou."

"You're welcome," he said wryly, motioning them towards the exit of the train station. Yamaguchi had offered to help ferry the two guests from the train station to Yashirou's home. He greeted the Tokyo visitors with his usual laid-back manner—though the man had a battle aura to contend with, in an official game—and after loading their bags in the back, started driving in the direction of Yashirou's home.

After a few minutes, Yashirou let his curiosity win. "Were the two of you talking about a game just now?"

"Just now?" Shindou, preoccupied with watching the scenery, looked blank.

Touya replied. "Yes. We were playing a game, actually."

"Huh?" Shindou said, then the retrospection lifted from his eyes. "Yeah, we were." He eyed Touya speculatively. "And I still say that if I were black and we had started the game from 5-5, I could have won."

"Does that mean you agree with me that we did start at 3-5 after all, and I'm black?"

"Black-hearted, is more like it," Shindou said, but silently acknowledging Touya's words. "Like the way you cut into my group with your 7-8. I could have used that group to take over the centre, you know."

"All's fair in war, Shindou."

"I can't wait to get hold of a Go board and lay it out. It's confusing to play like this. Especially when I can't remember if I'm supposed to be black or white," Shindou grumbled.

"Are you usually this muddled when you play Go? No wonder you lost to Kuwabara-sensei last week," Touya said.

"That sneaky old man tricked me," Shindou grumbled, not entirely under his breath.

Before Yashirou could recover from the surprise of hearing about Shindou play with Kuwabara-sensei--it was unheard of for the latter to play casual games with young pros--much less the shock of Shindou calling him 'sneaky old man', Touya retorted, "You were careless, and made a mistake."

Shindou scowled at that. "It was... not a mistake."

"You didn't notice him setting that trap on the upper right."

"What trap was that?" Yamaguchi, listening with evident relish, asked.

Shindou groaned loudly. "He tricked me into ignoring the ko there, and turned that around in the next minute to capture the right! I should have focused on that."

"And if you did, he'd have attacked the centre right away, Shindou."

"You're saying that I just can't win, huh?" Shindou asked, rolling his eyes. "I still think, if I took the left at the beginning, there's still a chance," he said. Glancing at Yashirou, he added, "I'll show you the game later, Yashirou, and you'll see that I'm right! I'm going to beat that old man one day!"

Yashirou smiled weakly. "I'd love to see the game. Er... you play often with Kuwabara-sensei?"

Shindou shrugged. "Sometimes we meet at the Institute and end up playing... I don't know, he seems to hang around the Institute quite a bit..."

Yashirou noticed from the rear-view mirror that Touya was hiding a smile, and wondered at that.

"Well, I would like to see the game too," Yamaguchi said. "Kuwabara-sensei is a superb player--I think only your father is a true match for him, Touya-san. But that's for later. We're here!" he announced, making a sharp turn into a residential area. Yamaguchi drove like he played Go: quick, accurate, and hazardous to anyone else in the vicinity.

Shindou yelped and fell into Touya's lap.

-------------------

Yashirou closed his mouth with a snap as his parents greeted their houseguests. With Touya, he would have taken it for granted, but Shindou?

"Please accept this insignificant gift as a gesture of our gratitude," Shindou said with a respectful bow. Yashirou thought he recognized the discreet logo on the side of the package as one belonging to an exclusive store in Tokyo that specialized in traditional Japanese sweets.

"You didn't need to go to the trouble," his mother was saying, but she had a smile on her face.

"Please excuse us for the intrusion, Yashirou-san," Touya was saying.

"We're very grateful for your hospitality," Shindou was saying.

His mother and father finally led them into the main hall. Yashirou followed, shaking his head surreptitiously. Who would have thought that formal manners were catching? He hadn't realized that Shindou could be _that_ polite.

He brought the two of them to the study, which Touya and Shindou would be using, and showed them where the futons were stored. Their house was not very large—certainly not like Touya's place—but the surroundings were quiet and peaceful. Unsurprisingly, the first thing Shindou demanded was a Go board so that he could continue his game of blind Go with Touya. Yashirou shrugged, and invited them to his room. Shindou looked around his room curiously, especially his desk, which was piled high with books. "Are those school textbooks?" he asked, with the air of someone who only cracked open a book if it contained anything Go-related.

Yashirou nodded. "I have to keep up with my schoolwork, especially if I want to keep playing Go."

"Your parents…" Touya said from where he was at the Go board, setting out a game. "They still don't approve of you becoming a pro?" he asked.

Yashirou nodded, feeling the familiar frustration rising inside him. "They still think that it's better if I go to university and get an office job of some sort," he said, sitting down by the Go board at Touya's right. "Your father is the Meijin, so of course you don't have the same kind of trouble."

"That's not really relevant. Shindou's father…"

"Hm? What about my dad?" Shindou asked, leafing through a book of joseki he had found on Yashirou's bookshelf. He had looked up at the mention of his father.

"Your dad doesn't play Go, either. But he still supported you becoming a pro, right?" Touya asked.

Shindou frowned. "Um. It's different. I mean, Grandpa plays Go, too." He replaced the book, and went to sit opposite the Go board. "My mum's the only one who said anything about my becoming pro, but that's because she doesn't know anything about the Go world. Parents all act differently, right? Waya's mum tried to make him go to high school too, except he passed the exam and moved out to live on his own."

"I don't want to do that," Yashirou burst out, as if sensing the automatic suggestion. "I want them to support my dreams, and agree with me that Go can be a proper occupation."

Shindou and Touya both looked at each other. It seemed that they gave each other a silent shrug, before Shindou turned his attention to the Go board, which now showed a game in progress. "There, see. I said 6-2 would be a good hand." He slapped a stone down firmly.

Touya looked briefly dubious. "You're leaving an opportunity here for me to attack," he said, placing a stone of his own.

"Not if I pinch over here first." Shindou said, pointing.

Yashirou saw it, and snorted. "Then Touya will be able to kill your stones there, and you'd lose even more territory."

Shindou's eyes brightened. "Not if I do this." He placed the stone down.

They stared.

The black stone, placed just slightly off-center on the 6-10 intersection and still wobbling a little from the force of Shindou's action, looked small and innocent next to a diagonal line of four white stones. It looked like it was asking to be captured. Yet, as Yashirou contemplated the next possible moves, he could feel his eyebrows shoot to the top of his head. "You..."

Touya leant forward a little. "That's interesting," he said in his blandest voice. "However…" He set down a stone, Knight's Move to Shindou's newest hand.

Shindou looked like he was having apoplexy. Touya looked calm, though Yashirou fancied he could see the faintest glimmerings of a smirk on his face. Then suddenly, Shindou's frown smoothed out, and moving with exaggerated slowness, he reached inside the go-ke, extracted a stone, and set it down.

They stared again.

Touya played another hand. So did Shindou. After another six moves, Touya shook his head. "All right, all right, you don't have to be so smug. I lose."

Shindou permitted himself a whoop of victory. "Man, for a second there, you really got me," he grumbled.

"I'd never have expected you to play 12-5, Shindou. It was potentially suicidal," Touya said.

Shindou shrugged. "Hey, it worked."

"Only because it was so stupid!" Touya retorted.

"If it worked, it wasn't so stupid now, was it?" Shindou said.

Watching the way they glared at each other, Yashirou realized they were about to launch themselves into a very loud argument. Having his parents come in here and find them flinging loud challenges at each other was not the best way to prove that Go was _not_ just a game. He said instead, "Show me your game with Kuwabara-sensei."

Distracted, both of them sat back. "Oh, sure," Shindou said, blinking at him. His face still looked a little flushed from temper. "Um, I promised to show that game to Yamaguchi-san." Yamaguchi had pleaded an appointment and left soon after Shindou and Touya arrived. Truth to say, he had left to avoid the veiled looks of hostility from Yashirou's parents. Yamaguchi belonged to the same Go study group as Yashirou, and had cheerfully volunteered to drive Yashirou to and from the study sessions, never dreaming that this would result in anger from his parents, who resented the older pro for aiding and abetting their son in what they saw as a useless past-time.

"That's okay, then," he said, faltering as Touya raised his head to stare at him. "Tomorrow, then." He waited while Shindou and Touya replaced the stones, putting the covers back on each go-ke at the same time, their hands steady as though they were performing some ritual.

"If we get any time tomorrow," Shindou commented. "I think it's unfair that I got selected for this series of exhibition matches just because I study with Morishita-sensei, and Waya had to have appendicitis."

"But aren't you interested in meeting Go players from around the world?" Yashirou asked. "At least, that's why Touya came as well, right?"

"Yeah..." Shindou scratched his chin. "I guess. But they'll all speak English, won't they?" He looked obscurely panicked at the idea of confronting the foreign language.

"Not all of them, Shindou," Yashirou said. He paused at Shindou's hopeful look, and continued, "Some of them might even speak other languages: Spanish, French or German, or..."

"Gah!" Shindou was waving his hands, as though to exorcise some horrible visions. "Don't say that!"

Yashirou took pity on him. "Don't worry, there're interpreters, and I'm sure some of the participants speak a little Japanese."

"I told you should go for English lessons, Shindou," Touya said. He ignored Shindou's grumble at that and turned to Yashirou. "Play a game with me, Yashirou."

"Hey!" Shindou protested at this. "I was going to play with him next!"

Touya's eyes gleamed with concealed amusement. "Too late. Besides, I haven't played with Yashirou since we practiced for the Hokuto Cup finals, and you'll be playing with him tomorrow."

"Oh. Can't bear to be left out, Touya?" Shindou said. "Right," he waved a hand airily, before shifting to the side and letting Yashirou take the seat opposite Touya. "I'll just sit here and be ignored," he said.

Touya turned his head to regard him for a second. "Shindou, I will never ignore you," he said. Shindou's jaw fell. After a beat, Touya went on, "You're too annoying for that."

"Oy!"

***

Dinner with Touya, Shindou and his parents was moderately trying, Yashirou thought, with his parents trying to question Shindou and Touya discreetly and Shindou and Touya giving polite diplomatic answers. Well, diplomatic answers from Touya, at least—Shindou might have learnt formal manners but diplomacy was still out of his range at this time. Shindou's answer to his father's queries about his parents' reaction to him turning pro was the height of bluntness, to say the least. Comments such as "I said I wanted to become a pro, and I would have insisted even if Mum had continued to object" and "Grandpa said they should let me do what I want" were not likely to endear him to Yashirou's parents.

"Am I interrupting anything?"

He turned to see Touya at the doorway of his room. "No, it's all right. Please come in," he said.

Touya entered, and at Yashirou's indication, sat down by the Go board opposite him again. His eyes were on the board, but Yashirou guessed that for once, he wasn't thinking about Go. "Where is Shindou, anyway?" he asked.

"Your father was watching baseball, and Shindou offered to watch it with him. He's a big fan," Touya shrugged.

"Unlike me," he said, and cast about for something else to say. "Did Shindou really quit Go for a while?" he asked.

Touya looked up at that. "Why do you ask that?"

Yashirou shrugged. "I just wondered. We're in Kansai, we don't hear much about what happens in Tokyo. But I heard about it a year ago, and I thought it was just a rumour. I mean, Shindou's very serious about Go, isn't he?"

A small smile appeared on Touya's face. "Yes," he said. Almost automatically, his hands went to the go-ke. Removing the cover, he placed a black stone on the upper-right star. "He did. It was just after he began playing as a pro. He began ditching all his games, losing by default. That was why he was 1-dan for so long, actually. Nobody really knows why he did it."

"Not even you?" Yashirou asked. "You two are so close, after all." He placed a white stone on the centre right star.

Touya hesitated. "He had his reasons. It doesn't matter," he said, meeting Yashirou's eyes. "What is more important is that he came back to Go." He set another stone on the lower-right star.

"I suppose," Yashirou allowed, staring at the Go board. "But when I heard the rumour, I thought it was because of his parents' objections… and I wanted to know how he overcome them." He shrugged. "I just have to convince my parents in my own way, then."

Touya made no comment to that, as they started to play more earnestly.

"I was surprised..." Yashirou began, "This afternoon, when Shindou said he played with Kuwabara-sensei."

Again, Touya smiled.

Yashirou suddenly remembered. "You were smiling at Shindou's comment about Kuwabara-sensei in the car this afternoon," he said.

"Oh, that."

"What was so amusing?"

"Tell you a secret," Touya said. He was actually smiling, no, grinning, Yashirou realized. Touya Akira, of all people. "Shindou still hasn't figured it out. Kuwabara-sensei goes to the Go Institute to play him."

It took Yashirou a second to process that. "You mean… Kuwabara-sensei deliberately looks for Shindou? So he can play with him? This is Kuwabara Honinbou you're talking about, right?"

Touya nodded. "I think he can't wait until Shindou gets into the cyclic games for the Honinbou title, so he decided to take matters into his own hands. And each time, Shindou thinks that it's an accidental meeting."

"That's…" Yashirou tried to articulate the incongruity of the highly respected Kuwabara Honinbou stalking Shindou Hikaru, 7-dan, but failed to find the right words. "What is it about Shindou?" he asked finally.

Touya, replying to his newest hand, raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"What is it about Shindou that so many people want to play him?" Yashirou asked. "I mean, I thought it was strange that at the first Hokuto Cup, that Hon Suyon insisted on playing with him. I've heard that your father wants to play with him. So does Ogata-san, and Kurata-san. Even you are a rival of Shindou's. Now you tell me even Kuwabara-sensei is looking for ways to play with him?"

"I don't know why so many people want to play with him," Touya said. "But for me, I feel that Shindou and I are destined to be lifelong rivals."

Yashirou stared at him. There was no sense of irony or sarcasm in Touya's words, just anticipation. "You really think that?"

Touya nodded. "When I met him, I wanted to chase after him. And I didn't know it then, but he started to chase after me, too. I think we will race each other for a long, long time."

Not knowing what to say, Yashirou nodded cautiously. The fact was, he had started to hear all kind of rumours about Shindou soon after the first Hokuto Cup. Rumours that just hadn't interested him before. The fact that he made pro after only playing Go for two years. He had played at a junior high school Go tournament--with Touya Akira. From what he could tell, there was no explanation for Shindou: his Go was by turns brilliant, amateur or unpredictable. And here was Touya, claiming him as a rival. "You're lucky, then," he said, continuing the game.

They were discussing the game when Shindou knocked at his door, and entered, without waiting to be invited. "Touya? There you are," he said, stifling a yawn.

"How was the baseball?" Touya asked, glancing up.

"It was okay. The home team was creamed, though." Shindou rotated his neck a little, as if to relieve strain on it. Still yawning, he approached them, and glanced at the Go board. "I'd love to discuss it, but I'm exhausted. I'm going to sleep first. 'night, Akira. 'night, Yashirou," he said, and stumbled out.

Yashirou was about to make a snide comment when he noticed the expression on Touya's face as he watched Shindou leave, and felt his world rock slightly. After a few seconds, he cleared his throat. " 'Akira'?" It was an inquiry.

"Yes?" Touya said, his chin rising a little so that he met Yashirou's eyes directly. He seemed calm, almost too calm.

Not knowing how to broach the subject, Yashirou backed down. "Er… It's a little late. Let's call it a day, shall we?"

"Of course." Touya began putting the stones back, and Yashirou did the same. When he began to stand up, Yashirou reached out and grabbed his hand.

"Touya," he said, willing his cheeks not to turn red. "He knows, right?"

Touya paused. "Goodnight, Yashirou-san."

***

Yashirou heard them arguing even before he knocked on the door. Despite himself, he stood at the door and listened.

"6-7, and I'm not giving up that easily!" Shindou's brash voice was loud, still slightly husky from sleep.

"If you resign now, at least you won't look _too_ bad." A 'thump' suggested that something had been thrown, possibly a pillow, probably at the son of a certain famous Go player. "All right, if you insist. 10-8."

The sound of a sliding door, probably the wardrobe door. "9-9, then. What were you and Yashirou talking about last night?"

"We were playing Go, Shindou."

"But when you came back last night, you had this expression on your face…"

"I thought you were already sleeping. 3-9. What expression?"

"You know, the one. Like you have indigestion. And what do you mean, 3-9? Are you making fun of me?"

"Would I do that when you manage it perfectly on your own? And yes, 3-9. You have a problem with it?" Another thump. "Yes, that's mature, Shindou."

"I'm just saying, you're making it really easy for me. 11-4."

"19-4."

"15-8."

"19-9."

"16-1."

"17-5."

Pause. "18-2."

Almost immediately, "16-6."

Silence fell. "Oh, damn. Fine, I resign. Now can you tell me what you and Yashirou were talking about?"

"Nothing much, Shindou."

"Tou—ya," Shindou sang.

A sigh. "You called me 'Akira'."

Pause, a longer one this time. "You mean he thinks…?"

When no further sound was forthcoming, Yashirou got tired of waiting and decided to risk a gentle knock on the door, before his mother decided to come and wake their guests herself.

"Coming!" He heard Shindou yell, and seconds later the door was open. His cheerful face became a little uncertain upon seeing him, but he covered it up. "Good morning, Yashirou. Come on in." He stepped back to see the study back in its usual pristine state, the futons evidently already stored up. Shindou and Touya, too, were already dressed for the day: Touya in a suit, but Shindou was wearing his usual shirt and jeans.

"Good morning. My mother told me to ask the two of you to breakfast. Yamaguchi-sensei is coming at ten to drive us to the event." He did his best to pretend that everything was the same, and to his relief Shindou and Touya followed his cue.

***

"How was the game last night?" Shindou asked when they were in the car and on the way to the tournament venue.

"Touya won by three and a half moku," Yashirou said. "I think he's gotten even better than when we last met."

"He's not the only one," Touya said. He was sitting in the front passenger seat, talking to Yamaguchi. "Yashirou has improved too."

"Thanks," Yashirou said, and glanced at Shindou. "And you beat him yesterday… that means you've gotten better too."

Shindou looked slightly abashed. "Have to work hard when you have a rival like Touya," he said. "He defeated Kamaishi-sensei last month in the preliminaries for the Gosei title."

"But you defeated Serizawa-sensei in the Tengen cyclic games," Yashirou pointed out, "Something many people thought was impossible. He and Ogata-san were considered strong contenders for the Tengen title."

"Yeah, Shindou-san, you always end up surprising people," Yamaguchi-sensei said with a grin. "So, when are you going to get yourself a title?"

Shindou gave them a slightly roguish look. "I have to catch up to Touya first," he jabbed a thumb in the direction of his rival. "I have my work cut out for me, chasing him."

"I'm chasing you too, Shindou," Touya said. "I can't let you get ahead too much." He sounded rather relaxed over the notion, Yashirou noticed.

"Oh, it's good to have a rival like that," Yamaguchi said, smiling at them in the rear view mirror. "But Touya-san is doing very well, aren't you? Nearly became Meijin, just like his father. I saw the kifu for that last game with Kurata-san. It was superb. Pity about the half moku loss."

"Thank you. Yes, it was a pity. I need to work harder."

"But this means I have a chance to play against Touya in an official game for the Meijin cyclic games," Shindou said. He was eyeing Touya, and not for the first time, Yashirou saw the fierce light of competition in his eyes.

***

The World Amateur Go Tournament had been held in Nagoya last year, and before that it was held in Kyoto. This year it would be in Osaka, and next year it would return to Tokyo, as it had been four years ago.

"You're early!" A portly bespectacled man, wearing a dark blue suit greeted them as they entered the convention hall, which had been hired especially for the tournament.

"Imashita-san!" Yamaguchi greeted. "Good morning. How are the arrangements so far?"

"It's been tough to make sure it goes smoothly, but I'll do my best. Are these the Tokyo pros?" he asked, eyeing Touya and Shindou.

"I'm sure it'll be fine. Yes, this is Touya 8-dan and Shindou 7-dan. And you know Yashirou-kun, of course. Touya-san, Shindou-san, this is Imashita-san, who is the organiser for this event."

Shindou and Touya greeted the man.

"Of course, of course!" Imashita said, his smile as broad as his frame. "I'm pleased to meet such young illustrious players such as yourself! This way, please." He gestured towards the side of the convention hall, where a makeshift back-office had been set out, and began to lead them in that direction. "I understand you have already received the programmess?" he asked.

Touya answered, "Yes, we did," while Shindou mouthed the words 'what programme?' at Yashirou. As if anticipating Shindou's reaction, he said, "We'll be meeting some of the participants at nine, and the first round of the tournament will start at ten. Lunch is from noon to one."

"Then what are we supposed to be doing?" Shindou asked.

Touya made a sound that sounded suspiciously like a huff. "We're tutoring the other visitors from different parts of Japan. I told you this, Shindou. And you're playing in the afternoon. I'll be doing the explanation."

"Oh."

***

"Please give me your guidance."

"Please give me your guidance," Yashirou said in turn, eyeing his opponent for the afternoon. Though it was only supposed to be an exhibition match, he was determined to do his best against Shindou.

The other player was advancing fast in the pro world, much faster than his claim of learning Go at twelve gave credence. Sometimes he had the feeling that Shindou was going to leave all of them behind, even Touya Akira. Then he collected his thoughts. Though Touya Akira was not a participant for the exhibition matches, he was watching the game--and explaining it--and Yashirou wanted to prove his skill to the other pro as well.

Shindou started with a standard opening, establishing the basic points of his shape rapidly within the first few hands. Yashirou countered with his own shape, settling his own stones in preparation for a multi-pronged attack. With Shindou, one had to be aware of his skill in playing strategic hands that could turn the entire battle round within minutes, and the best ways to defend against that was to make sure one had more than one avenue for advancement.

They settled into the rhythm of the game, and Yashirou's self-consciousness at the various spectators, not to mention the television cameras aimed right on top of the Go board, faded away in his absorption. Shindou did not seem nervous at all. Then again, Yashirou thought, he had the luxury of devoting all his time to professional Go, and had already played with numerous high-ranking pros. Yashirou, on the other hand, was forced to limit the number of games he played, not to mention the number of title-matches he could enter, due to school. He slapped down a stone with more force than necessary at that thought, and Shindou glanced at him for a split-second before turning his attention back to the game, gripping the fan in his hands a little more tightly, his eyes nearly inscrutable with thought.

Another thing unusual about Shindou was that fan. Truth to say, Yashirou found it odd that someone like Shindou--who looked more at home in arcade than in front of a Go board--would carry a traditional fan like that at every game. If it had been anyone else, he would have concluded that it was something to hold on for fidgety fingers, but Shindou at a game was almost supernaturally focused. Now, he watched as Shindou seemed to come to a decision, and laid the fan down before him. Yashirou tensed; he had played with Shindou often enough to know that when Shindou Hikaru set down his fan, it mean that he had determined a course of actions, and he was dangerous.

_Pachi_! Shindou placed his stone down on tengen.

Yashirou could feel his eyes narrow. They were still at the beginning stage, and had barely circled the corners. This meant that the middle was still relatively clear--until Shindou's hand. Yashirou bit the inside of his cheek to check a wry grin. Ah, Shindou was making a bid for the middle ground so quickly? Well, he was more than ready to match that bid. He reached into the go-ke for a stone.

His eagerness to leap into the fray had cost him some ground, Yashirou thought some time later, but he still had a chance. Shindou was playing _very_ aggressively, but the danger of playing too aggressively was that one left weaknesses for your opponent to attack. And this was what he was prepared for right from the start. Yashiro went for it.

"I have lost."

"Thank you for the game."

"Thank you for the game," he said. He felt breathless just from fending off Shindou's attacks in the endgame. Who would have thought that his carefully arranged points of attack would be so easily hijacked by Shindou instead? Well, clearly Shindou had thought of it, he said to himself. "I still don't know how you thought about using my own hands against me," he commented.

Shindou moved his shoulders in an abbreviated shrug. "You were too quick to match my hand on the tengen, though."

"It was a very bold move," Yashirou said. And it drew me in, just as you predicted, he thought. "It made me want to fight."

Shindou grinned brilliantly. "It was a good game," he said.

"Yeah." He felt a smile on his lips. "Yeah, it was."

***

"It was an interesting game," Touya said, when he met them after the post-game discussion was over.

"Yeah. It was a lot of fun," Shindou said, stretching his arms. "I learnt lots from Yashirou."

Yashirou stared at him directly. "You did? But I lost to you."

"Every game is an opportunity to learn," Touya said. "The audience certainly thought so. Some of them are still discussing it," he nodded towards the visitors and the foreign participants, who were still pointing at the screen showing the game.

"Touya Akira?" The voice sounded foreign, and they turned to see a tall, brown-haired man approaching them. Nakamura, who was Touya's English interpreter, was beside him

"Yes?" Touya asked, looking at Nakamura, obviously wondering why the foreigner had approached him.

"Oh!" The foreigner turned to Nakamura and began talking… in English, Yashirou thought, but the stream of words was so fast that he had difficulty understanding it beyond 'four years ago' and 'NetGo.'

Nakamura listened, and turned to Touya. "This man is John Smith, the American representative. He says he's seen you before, when he was in Tokyo four years ago."

"Oh," Touya bowed a little to the man. "Pleased to meet you again, Smith-san." He had barely stopped speaking when the foreigner started talking again, his blue eyes very intent on Touya, as though he wanted to ask him something.

Nakamura listened, then frowned a little, before turning to them. "Touya-sensei, Smith-san asked me if you have heard from someone called Sai."

Touya controlled his emotions well, but Yashirou could see that he was taken aback at the question. Beside him, Shindou stiffened.

"Please," Touya said after a moment. "May I ask why Smith-san wishes to know?"

Nakamura, his perplexity mirrored on his face, conveyed the question. They listened, without comprehension, to the stream of English, before Nakamura turned to Touya again. "He said that Sai disappeared from NetGo after you played with him four years ago. Your father was the only person to play with him again after that, but as Touya Meijin is not here…" Nakamura paused diplomatically.

"Ah." Touya paused, and inexplicably, he glanced at Shindou for a moment. "Please tell him that neither my father or myself have played with Sai since. "

After a brief exchange, Nakamura nodded, and smiled his diplomatic smile, before turning to them. "Smith-san says it's a pity Sai has disappeared from NetGo. A number of the participants from other countries still remember such a powerful player. But thank you for your time, Touya-sensei."

"You're welcome," Touya said, bowing to him and Smith in turn. "We should be going now. Please excuse us."

His tone was firm. Smith was left with no other alternative but to attempt a small bow in return; Touya turned and walked towards the exit, Shindou beside him. Yashirou paused only to excuse himself as well, before he caught up with the two of them. Shindou seemed to be mumbling under his breath.

"What was that all about?" he asked, once they were outside the convention centre.

"I can't believe they're still talking about it," Shindou said, shaking his head. They stopped at a couple of vending machines standing outside the exit, and Shindou began digging in his pockets for change.

"What are you talking about?" Yashirou asked.

Touya answered him. "There was a very good NetGo player on the internet about four years ago; his name was Sai. He disappeared after I played with him, and he appeared again to play with my father two years later, but no one has heard of him since."

"Oh."

"Here," Shindou held up a canned drink towards him--iced coffee--and handed another one to Touya. Yashirou caught the label on it: green tea. Shindou was already popping the tab of his own can, some new sugary concoction containing coffee, milk and orange-flavoured chocolate that had just been introduced a few weeks ago, with cute cartoon cats on the label. He didn't seem to be paying attention to Touya's explanation at all. Yashirou watched with a mild sense of revulsion as Shindou drained the entire can.

"Many amateur Go players who play NetGo know about him," Touya said, "But no one knows who he really is."

"Not even you?" Yashirou asked.

"Not really," Touya said, but he glanced at Shindou again.

"You played with this Sai then. Is he really very strong?" Yashirou said.

Touya said, "The strongest I've ever met." He took a step towards Shindou, under the pretext of taking the empty can out of Shindou's hand and tossing it into a waste bin nearby, but really, Yashirou thought, to look more closely at his rival. "He's someone I've been chasing for a very long time," he said.

Shindou gave a start at that, but his expression, when he faced Touya, was fierce with anger. "And I told you before. If you keep chasing a shadow, one day you will be overshadowed by me instead," he said. Without a second word, he turned on his heel and walked away.

"Shindou!" Yashirou glanced at Touya. "What was that about?" he asked.

"It's..." Touya shook his head. "Some old matters, from the time we first met."

Somehow, looking at that version of Touya's game face, Yashirou didn't feel like questioning any further.

----------------------

"You played this game with Kuwabara-sensei?" Yamaguchi asked, staring with wonder. Yashirou's teacher, Yoshikawa, was rubbing his chin as he studied the Go board.

It was evening and normally Yashirou would have been at home preparing for school--it was Monday tomorrow--but his teacher, Yamaguchi, and a few others in his study group were eager to talk about Go with the Tokyo players. They were in one of the rooms at the Kansai Go Institute Building, having had dinner at a restaurant but declining to remain there to get drunk.

Shindou looked embarrassed at Yamaguchi's question. "It's not very good," he said. "The old man was totally taunting me, and I wanted to show him, so I... er, I was too hasty." He pointed to the corner. "I should have strengthened here, instead of taking the lower group. It was a Pyrrhic victory; I lost all the territory on the upper side instead." He scowled. Beside him, Touya remained silent.

After Shindou's outburst, the two of them had acted as though the whole thing didn't happen. Neither mentioned NetGo again. Luckily, Touya had a reputation for being quiet--in comparison to Shindou, anyway. No one noticed anything different about them. Yashirou, though, remembered the look on Touya's face the previous night, and it struck him anew what an expressive face Touya had. He really didn't have to ask about the relationship between them--it was plain for all to see.

Yoshikawa nodded absently at Shindou's explanation. "But this is excellent play!" he exclaimed, pointing to the lower-left, where a furious struggle had broken out. "Kuwabara-sensei is truly a tricky player."

"You can say that again," Shindou muttered sourly, and this time Yashirou noticed the glimmerings of a smile tugging at Touya's lips at his rival's tone.

"And the fact that you can compete with Kuwabara to such an extent shows that you have improved greatly too, Shindou-san," Yoshikawa said.

Shindou looked more embarrassed than ever.

"Yes, I had thought that you could play like that only with your rival, eh? Come to think about it, you should be entering the Honinbou cyclic games soon. After all, Touya-san is already in it," Yamaguchi teased.

Shindou gave Touya a pointed look. "Yeah, Touya's been holding that over me. I'm going to get in this time."

Touya eyed him. "I'll be waiting, Shindou. Just so you know that," he said.

Watching the two of them, Yamaguchi exclaimed, "Ah, this is true rivalry!", before his attention returned to the Go board. "So, tell me, Shindou, why did you play here? I thought the star point would be best."

"Oh, that..."

As the discussion returned to Go, Yashirou became conscious of being left out. He had played a good game with Shindou that afternoon, but compared to a 'casual' game with Kuwabara Honinbou, it was lacking. He remembered Touya's comment that Kuwabara sought Shindou deliberately for games, and fell distracted, thinking how far he had fallen behind.

It took them nearly two hours to discuss the game, and by then even Shindou looked slightly wilted. Yamaguchi called it a night. They were leaving when Yashirou heard a familiar voice behind him.

"Kiyoharu."

Yashirou turned to see his teacher. "Sensei," he said.

"You were very quiet just now," Yoshikawa said.

"Feeling envious of Shindou and Touya," Yashirou said. From where he was standing, he could see Shindou and Touya, who had gone ahead and were at the entrance, standing close together, waiting for Yamaguchi to drive the car round. They exchanged a few words, and before his eyes Touya had tilted his head a little in Shindou's direction, an action that Shindou copied almost immediately, mirror-fashioned, so that they seemed to be touching foreheads.

"Yes, they're progressing fast," Yoshikawa said.

The exchange that afternoon between the rivals puzzled, and spurred Yashirou in some way he didn't understand. He had long known that they regarded each other as opponents and rivals, but he had never really thought about how they chased each other. It wasn't just Touya who was rising fast--Shindou was, too, and the ever increasing number of players who wanted a game with him attested to that. And seeing Shindou's game with Kuwabara just made that even more obvious.

He faced his teacher's questioning air frankly. "I used to be a match for Shindou, when we played in the first Hokuto Cup preliminaries," he said. "Now, he has passed me." He could see his teacher's mouth open, as if to rebut him. He continued, "Maybe it's the rivalry between him and Touya. Maybe it's the fact that they are truly acting like Go professionals." He had his teacher's attention now.

"What do you mean?" Yoshikawa said, his brow furrowed. "Kiyoharu, I know you've been having problems with your parents again, but you mustn't be discouraged..."

The reminder of his parents' protests made Yashirou's temper come to the fore, as few things in his life ever did. He was proud of the game he played with Shindou, true. But on hindsight it only served to highlight how far from his ambitions he was. "They have the freedom devote all their energies to Go!" he burst out. And to each other, but Yashirou didn't say that aloud. "My parents keep reminding me that next year..." he paused to keep his calm. "Next year they want me to take the university entrance exams."

Yoshikawa's lips were in a firm line across his face, his glasses sliding down his nose. But the look he aimed at his student belied his easy-going nature. "Perhaps, before you consider how well Shindou and Touya are doing, it would be wise to think about how you're approaching your own problems."

The stern tone shocked Yashirou. "Sensei, I..."

"Think about what I've said. Did you think that Shindou or Touya have it easy as well? They have to take care of their own problems themselves, like everyone else."

Then Yoshikawa 9-dan turned on his heels and walked away.

****

The sounds of argument were loud enough that he could hear them even as he came downstairs. His mother was standing at the far end of the hallway, and she was looking pointedly in the direction of the study room. Yashirou nodded at her. "I'll take care of it," he whispered, and approached the study.

"That hand on the right was a mistake." Touya was loud, his voice openly scornful.

"No, it wasn't," Shindou was just as loud, and even for him, his words were harsh, lacking even the most basic formality. "I would have used it to attack the upper right within four hands. You are the one who made a mistake by capturing my stone right here!"

"That was ... not a mistake!"

"Was too! You missed an opportunity to cut off the left side."

"A mistake by omission is not a mistake."

"Damn right." Shindou's voice was harsh. "Then why do you keep asking me?"

Silence fell at that. Yashirou wondered if the argument was over, when Touya spoke again, his tones softer.

"Shindou... I know I shouldn't have pushed."

"All right." Shindou sounded sulky, and Yashirou could imagine him digging his fists into the pockets of his jeans.

"You have the right to decide when... or whether to tell me. I've tried to be patient. But will you ever tell me?"

"I just..." A loud sigh. "I will. Please don't ask anymore. It's just hard for me to talk about it, all right?"

They were certainly not playing Go now. Embarrassed, Yashirou raised a hand and knocked on the door.

Another long pause, before the door opened, by Touya this time. "Good morning, Yashirou-san." He was neatly dressed, though this time in an ordinary sweater and dark blue slacks. He nodded at Yashirou before turning to the other occupant of the room.

Shindou, of course, could have stepped out of _Shonen Jump_, with that hair and the cherry-red shirt. He was rummaging in his bag, his hair hiding his face from view. Yashirou suspected it was merely a delaying device until he got his expression under control again. Whatever Shindou and Touya had been talking about, it was clearly a topic that bothered Shindou a lot.

****

Yashirou bowed slightly to the other man. "Thank you for the game," he managed, hoping he hadn't mangled his English too much.

His opponent beamed. "No!" he exclaimed, and before Yashirou could take alarm, he went on, "Thank you for the game!"

Oh. Yashirou managed a smile, hoping the man wasn't going to try and talk to him, and began to pick up the stones. "Excuse me," he said, standing up after he was done. Maybe he should look for Yamaguchi, or even Shindou, or Touya. Being around so many foreigners by himself made him feel uncertain. The morning games for the tournament had eliminated more participants--the final was tomorrow--but most of the amateur players seemed to be having a good time, introducing themselves to each other as well to the Japanese players, playing informal games or discussing them in the tournament arena. It was fascinating to see so many people from different countries, all playing Go, Yashirou thought. They didn't have professional Go players in most countries, but these participants were as devoted to the game as any other professional he could name.

He found Shindou watching, along with another five or six spectators, a pair of dark-haired woman who were intent on the stone-covered Go board between them. It took him a few moments to realize that the two women were laying out a game from some kifu on the table beside them, and were discussing it.

"Looks like an interesting game," he said, coming to stand beside Shindou. Indeed, it was. White was clearly outmatched, Yashirou thought, but Black was coming up with some very creative hands to engage its opponent. Black was the more skilful player here, and the resultant game showed that.

"Um," Shindou muttered, after a glance to see that it was him. "I think they are arguing about the kifu," he said. "Either they can't remember the game properly, or they're working from different versions of the kifu for the same game."

Yashirou frowned. "What do you mean?"

Shindou shrugged. "That sometimes happens with games played on the Internet, especially before some computer programs had the capability to record the game, so it was done manually instead."

"How do you know all that?"

"Er... Waya, one of my friends, plays NetGo a lot."

There were some muttered comments from the spectators; from the sound of it, Yashirou gathered a few of them also had opinions on the order of the stone placement. After they had moved the stones around a few times, Yashirou whispered, "I don't see what difference it makes. Does it matter if Black plays 15-3 first, rather than 17-2?"

"Not really, as it turns out," Shindou said, sounding preoccupied. "But it makes a difference if you're going to be using the Knight's Move at 14-8. If you start with 15-3, you can use the Knight's Move, but if you start at 17-2, it makes no sense."

"Yeah, but Black didn't use the Knight's Move at all. It looks like he was going for the running attack all along."

"No, it can go either way. See, if he had followed 15-3 with Knight's Move, then pinch, Black would have dominated right away. Much faster."

Yashirou opened his mouth to respond to that, but someone tapped Shindou on the shoulder. Shindou gave a start, and they both turned to see a man smiling at them. He had reddish-blond hair and blue eyes. "Excuse me," the man said in Japanese.

Shindou's eyes grew wide. "Yes?" he asked, his voice uncertain as he stared at the much taller foreigner.

"I'm sorry, I overheard what you were saying." The man had been standing behind them all along, Yashirou realized. "My name is Frank Johnson. Do you mind if I told my friend your views?" His Japanese was perfect.

"Er... Of... of course not!" Shindou was managing not to stutter by sheer force of will. Yashirou guessed that he had met very few foreigners in his life.

They both watched as Johnson interrupted the discussion, now speaking another language that didn't sound like English, no matter how Yashirou strained his ears. There were simultaneous "Ah!" sounds of understanding from the spectators as the explanation became English again, and Shindou shuffled his feet in embarrassment when all eyes turned to him.

"Excuse me, why did you think it would be a Knight's Move that Black was planning?" Johnson asked him after a while.

"Yeah, I thought it would be a running attack," someone else said.

"Er... it looked like that to me," Shindou said, before he approached the table. "Excuse me," he said to one of the woman sitting there. "I think there's another section that's wrong. "Black played 4-2 here, not 5-2. Otherwise you'll be attacked at the edge." He reached out to push the stone to the correct spot.

"Oh," Johnson said with a tone of enlightenment. "It makes sense now. I was wondering why Sai had left an opening there."

Shindou froze. "Sai?" he said.

"Yes, this is one of Sai's earlier games on the Internet," the woman replied, stumbling only slightly over her Japanese. "We're trying to build a complete collection of his kifu."

Yashirou saw Shindou's eyes turn towards the kifu on the table. The name 'Sai' could be clearly seen on a few of them.

"You seem to know Sai's way of playing very well," Johnson complimented him.

"Eheh." Shindou tried to smile, but he looked a little uneasy. "It was just a coincidence."

"But you knew that he played 4-2 rather than 5-2. You must have seen many of his games."

"Er, sort of," Shindou said, before his curiosity got the better of him. "You also played with Sai?"

Johnson indicated the spectators with a wave of his hand. "Lots of the people here played with Sai."

"Oh." Shindou blinked, and looked around at the convention hall again. "Really?" The affirmative answer made him blink a few more times, and after he was finally convinced, he let himself be persuaded into a discussion of the game with Johnson. A few others listened with interest, and as Yashirou looked on, Shindou seated himself unceremoniously beside one of the other representatives and began to talk, gesturing at the Go board. Fifteen minutes passed, then half an hour; he seemed to be growing more and more comfortable about talking to so many people about Sai's games, with Johnson acting as interpreter. There was an air of relaxation about him, as though he had been freed from some unspoken restraint. Then a shadow fell over the group.

Quite literally. Touya stood at the edge of the seated crowd, staring at Shindou.

It was as if the intensity of Touya's stare had communicated itself to the group, as they all turned in his direction. Shindou, too, soon realised that the concentration of his audience had faltered. He too looked up. And Yashirou saw quite clearly how the barriers sprang up between them.

"I just came to say that it's almost time for your shidougo lesson, Shindou." Having delivered his message, Touya nodded at the others and left.

Shindou had half-stood up. "Touya, wait!" he called, but either the other pro did not hear, or chose not to reply. Shindou heaved a sigh. "I better go," he said to Johnson. "Thank you, Johnson-san, and everybody."

****

It seemed he was spending too much time overhearing other people's conversations, Yashirou thought as he walked towards the back of the convention hall, where a small garden was laid out. He even took care to be sure that he didn't step on any loose stones that would give away his presence. There was just something about the intensity between the two rivals that made him feel that huge truths about the universe were about to be revealed any moment.

"You know, I find it interesting that just this morning, you said you didn't want to talk about Sai. And now I find that you have absolutely no trouble discussing him at all!" It was Touya.

"It's different! These people only know Sai through his Go. They don't confuse me with Sai."

"And I do, Shindou?" The crunch of gravel suggested that Touya had turned round abruptly.

Shindou looked away. "I know you don't." He took another step closer to Touya, and suddenly placed a hand on his shoulder. Touya said nothing. Shindou then leant forward to rest his forehead on Touya's shoulder, and a few seconds later Touya's right hand came up to rest on Shindou's back.

Enough was enough. Yashirou reminded himself that he had been properly brought up, and cleared his throat loudly. Shindou and Touya sprang away from each other as though they had been burnt. Irrelevantly, Yashirou thought that was just right. Those who did not appreciate the capabilities of Touya Akira and Shindou Hikaru in Go would only end up being burnt by their brilliance. It was fitting that one was literally 'brightness" and the other 'light'.

"I came to see if the two of you were all right. I've asked Imashita-san to hold back Shindou's shidougo game by half an hour. There's been delays all day, anyway." It was a little difficult trying to pretend that everything was normal.

Touya nodded. He glanced at Shindou, who was standing an arm's length away and had wrapped both arms around himself as though to ward off the late afternoon chill.

"I heard the two of you talking about... Sai," Yashirou decided to confess, hoping he could get an explanation that way. It was really much too frustrating not to know what was going on, especially with all the mysterious reference to this Sai person.

Shindou gave a start at that, then suddenly, turned to the side and stared determinedly at his feet.

Yashirou followed his glance, and felt even more puzzled. Surely an ordinary NetGo player shouldn't be such a big deal. Yashirou seldom had the time to indulge in playing Go on the computer, but he was familiar with the various ways one could play Go online. "And Shindou?" he guessed. "You also played with him?"

Shindou looked up at that. "No, I didn't! I only…" He paused and a very strange look came over his face. "I suppose I did, at that," he said in a soft voice.

Touya's mouth fell open in a little 'o'.

"Not many people know that... I know Sai. Please don't tell anyone else," Shindou said, though he was looking at Touya. "He's the reason I started playing Go in the first place. He... well, he was as good as Shuusaku. A second Shuusaku, you could say."

Yashirou frowned, thinking. "You were referring to him, weren't you?" he asked. He noticed Touya's eyes narrow at that.

"What?" Shindou looked taken aback at the sudden question.

"You said something before the first Hokuto Cup. You said that if only 'he' were still around. You were talking about him playing with Ko Yong-ha, weren't you?"

A bit of the competitive light re-entered Shindou's eyes at the mention of the Korean pro. "Yes... I was referring to him. I didn't think you'd remember that. Yeah, he insulted Shuusaku... it was like he was insulting Sai, too."

"No wonder you wanted to be first board," Yashirou said. He thought about the brilliance Shindou had showed in the first games with the China team, and later the fierce determination he had displayed in the game with Ko Yong-ha, and how he had been struck by the lengths that Shindou would go, simply to uphold his view of Go. He and Touya both, he realised. It wasn't just the rivalry between them. It was the unthinking dedication to Go that made them go to such lengths to improve, to reach further with each game. _And it's a goal I should set for myself_, he told himself.

"Anyway, it makes me happy that other people also know of Sai, if only as a NetGo player," Shindou said. It sounded as though he was offering this as an explanation towards Touya. He took a deep breath. "I... I'm going for that tutoring lesson now. See you later."

He didn't quite run, but it was close.

---------------------

Yashirou remained sitting after Touya and Shindou had excused themselves, after the dishes had been cleared from the table. The puzzlement about 'Sai' aside, Yashirou had found his resolve strengthening over the last two days. He had to push himself harder. He had to get better. And to do that, he had to do this.

His father looked over the pages of the newspaper he was reading, the lines in his face made artificially harsh by the strong electric light. "You have something to say, Kiyoharu? About school?"

Wasn't that typical, Yashirou thought. He was a Go pro, his life was dedicated to Go, and even now he was involved in an international Go event that brought Go players from all over the world together, and yet the first thing his father thought he could possibly ask about was _school_.

"In a way," he said, looking up to meet his father's eyes.

"Oh?" The elder Yashirou put down the newspaper. "What is it?"

"I wanted to tell you that I won't be taking the university entrance exams next year. I'm going to devote all my time to Go." The words left his mouth so quickly that he sounded slightly breathless, Yashirou realised, as he watched his father's face for his reaction.

"I forbid it."

The answer came so quickly that even Yashirou was shocked. "But Father..."

"Your mother and I have put up with your obsession long enough. We even invited your Go friends to stay because they are the only Go players of your age that we know. But I will not allow you to throw your future away for a mere board game."

Yashirou clenched his fists. "It's not just a game," he burst out. "It's my life!"

"What kind of parents would we be, if we didn't stop you from doing something so foolish? Tell me, Kiyoharu, do you really imagine you can make a living from a game? Your friends," his father nodded towards the study-guest bedroom, "They are not even going to school at all. They waste all of their time playing Go, and from what I heard, they're still living with their parents. If they're so successful, why don't they move out and become independent?"

"I..." He took a deep breath. "That's their business. But they are successful, and they're making a living at Go."

"For how long?"

"What?" The sudden question took him aback.

His father's lips were set in a firm line. Irrationally, Yashirou remembered his teacher's expression from the evening before. "I said, how long can they continue to make a living through Go? See for yourself, Kiyoharu. How many people your age play Go? Your friends, from Tokyo? It can only be a hobby, not an occupation. There is no future in it. You're still young and immature, you'll see that I'm right in the future."

"No!" Yashirou shouted. "There is a future for Go, and I'm going to be a part of it. I won't give it up."

His father's face grew angry. "Will you stop being so stubborn? Don't you know how important it is to get into a good university? Forget that game!"

"I'll show you that I'm right!" Yashirou stood up. "I'll show you that I can survive through Go alone." Reluctant to continue the argument any further, he left the room.

To his surprise, Shindou was in his room, reading his manga. "Er..." Shindou put down the volume. "Hope you don't mind. I could hear the shouting..." he looked briefly embarrassed, "so I decided to come up here."

The consideration involved in _not _listening to an argument between he and his father was so typically Touya that Yashirou found himself asking, "Where's Touya?"

Shindou shrugged. "He went for a walk instead."

"Oh." Yashirou sat down next to Shindou. "I'm sorry."

"What for?" Shindou asked in his typical blunt manner. "That I was in the house when you decided to have an argument with your father?"

"That you had to overhear it. We were shouting quite loudly. I didn't mean for you to hear his comments about you and Touya."

Shindou shrugged. "It's not like you can stop him from saying what he thinks is right." He paused. "You're really not going to university?"

So he had heard that part of the argument. "There's no point. If I want to get better at Go, I have to spend more time practising for it, and I can't do that if I'm spending all of my time on the entrance exams." He glanced at Shindou. "It frustrates me," he confided, "that we're the same age, but so you're already making a name for yourself, and I'm still stuck playing games with lower-dans."

"Age isn't the most important, you know," Shindou said. "Someone like Isumi, for example, is making a name for himself too, and he only made pro when he was nineteen. But a lot of the higher dans are wary of him, even Kuwabara-sensei."

Yashirou appreciated Shindou's attempt to be comforting. "There's you and Touya, too," he said, just to see what Shindou would say.

Shindou gave a wry smile. "Touya, well, we all know about him right? The only son of Touya Kouyo the five-title holder, the boy genius of the Go world, has been playing Go since he was born, it seems like, and made pro without breaking a sweat. Some of the higher dans are frankly scared of him. And as for me... I know many people think well of me, that I am a strong player," Shindou said, before he snickered. "But do you know, I owe my 'reputation' to Touya."

"What do you mean?"

"The only reason so many of the pros think that I must be very good, before I even play them, is because most of them have heard of the rumour, that Touya and I are rivals. They think that someone like Touya must have a formidable rival, and so when they meet me they've already told themselves that they can't win. So it's Touya I have to thank for out-psyching my opponents for me."

One would not call Shindou Hikaru modest, precisely, but it would be a particularly dim Go player who believed that Shindou was incapable of 'out-psyching' his opponents through his own efforts. Yashirou spoke to refute him. "Not all pros, certainly. Kuwabara-sensei, for example."

"Oh, him." Shindou looked briefly challenged. "You know, sometimes I think he's stalking me," he said reflectively. He thought about it, then shook his head. "Nah. Couldn't be."

Yashirou tried not to snort at that. "But you can't deny that I need to spend more time on my Go if I want to improve my game."

Shindou sat down in front of the Go board. "I'd be the last person to deny that, but Go isn't just a game that you play for pure strategy." He reached into the go-ke and placed a stone on the upper star. "Sometimes you play on instinct as well." He looked up. "It's your turn."

"Does it seem like we spend too much time playing Go?" Yashirou asked, sitting down, setting a white stone on the lower star.

"Are you kidding? How can you play too much Go?" Shindou asked, before he played the next hand.

***

Yashirou wondered if they did this all the time.

"15-6. A second Shuusaku, Shindou?"

"Well, you think of a better way to describe it then. 19-2."

"18-5. I just think it's a pity that no one knows his true identity."

"He wanted to be known only through his Go. I don't think it's a pity. 11-11."

"11-11? That doesn't make sense. You're just playing randomly, aren't you?"

"Not randomly. By instinct. You do know what is instinct, don't you?"

"With you, Shindou, no one really knows if it is instinct or dumb luck."

"Dumb luck, if it is consistent, is also a talent."

"That's the most irrational thing I've ever heard."

"What do you mean, irrational?"

"Stop that, you two." Mindful of the glances aimed in their direction, Yashirou leaned over to remind them, "They're presenting the trophy soon," he said.

"Sorry," Shindou muttered, argument forgotten. "Who won?"

"Someone called Shuhei," Yashirou answered. Shindou had been too preoccupied with the NetGo kifu yesterday to pay any attention to who the finalists of the tournament were. The final game had been played while Shindou discussed yet another Sai game with the other foreign visitors.

"Shuhei-san?" Shindou sat up at that.

"You know him?" Yashirou asked.

"Yeah. He's from Hiroshima. I met him there once."

Afterwards, Shindou made a beeline for the champion, who was chatting with the other players in the reception area. Yashirou and Touya found themselves following, and approached just as Shindou was renewing his acquaintance.

"I thought you had forgotten about me," the man said, his narrow eyes strangely at odds with his large, burly figure. "I saw your exhibition game with him," the man continued, his gaze falling on Yashirou. "You're getting good, Shindou."

"Er, thanks." Shindou was rubbing the back of his head, a sure sign that he was embarrassed.

"I'm glad that you didn't quit Go after all, " Shuhei went on. "Did you find what you were looking for? You were quite insistent about looking for Shuusaku's grave."

Shindou's face fell at that. "No," he said, his voice now softer, so that Yashirou had to strain his ears to hear. Touya, he noticed, had taken a step towards Shindou, but he froze when Shindou spoke again. "Not exactly. I didn't find h...it. Not the way I hoped." He looked up--Shuhei towered a head over Shindou--and his hands slipped inside his pockets, where one end of the fan was sticking out. "But it's all right," he said, meeting the other man's eyes. "I won't give up on Go, don't worry."

Shuhei looked a little confused by Shindou's response, but he nodded at the last. "Good. Don't disappoint me, Shindou. Lots of people in Hiroshima are also supporting you. These are your friends?"

Looking just a little distracted, Shindou quickly introduced Yashirou and Touya. Touya, Yashirou noticed, nodded at Shindou as though at some unspoken agreement, before he stepped forward to bow politely. "Shuhei-san, pleased to meet you," he said.

"Pleased to meet you," Yashirou said.

"I'm glad to meet Shindou's friends," Shuhei said. "You're Touyo Kouyo's son?" he asked Touya, and when Touya murmured an affirmative, nodded. "Good," he pronounced. "Good that Shindou has friends like you. I was beginning to think that he had no other friends other than that rascal Kawai."

"Kawai-san isn't so bad," Shindou protested. He would have said more, but there was an exclamation near the entrance. "What..." he craned his neck.

Being slightly taller, Yashirou could see the cause of the commotion. "Someone new just came in. I think he knows Yoshikawa-sensei," he said, watching his teacher greet the grizzled-looking old man. "Strange."

"What is it?" Touya asked, also watching as the other visitors started to talk and nod at the entrance.

"I've never seen him in person before," Yashirou said, "but I think it's..." Sudden realisation made him turn his head to both Touya and Shindou. "He's really stalking you!"

"Who?" Shindou asked, still craning his neck, though to no avail, as the crowd was even thicker now as the other pros approached. "Who is it?" he demanded.

Shuhei flicked a glanced at him. "Kuwabara Honinbou," he said.

Whispers of "Kuwabara Honinbou" echoed in the hall at Shuhei's pronouncement.

Shindou's jaw fell, but neither he nor Touya said anything. They watched as the crowd swelled towards them, almost mesmerized, until they were surrounded by it.

Kuwabara was dressed in a slightly rumpled suit, the creases undoubtedly caused by travel. He had caught sight of Shindou, Yashirou was sure, but neither said anything until Yoshikawa tried to introduce them.

Shindou responded first. "What are you doing here?" he asked, surprise thick in his voice.

Yashirou gaped. Accustomed as he was to Shindou's casual manners, he simply didn't expect Shindou to greet the venerable pro in a manner more akin to a high school student meeting an old acquaintance. _These Tokyo people_, one part of his mind pointed out, _can be so unrefined_. He didn't miss the accompanying reactions from his teacher and the other pros, either. Touya, he belatedly noticed, didn't look surprised.

Kuwabara raised an eyebrow at Shindou's greeting, but other than that he didn't seem surprised, either. Of course, it was probably hard to tell with the old pro; Yashirou had heard that he had a reputation of feigning weakness or senility, or both, when it suited his needs, in order to put his opponents off their guard. He tried for invisibility as Kuwabara's eyes flickered over him, but only heard a pointed, if raspy-sounding voice, comment, "Shindou? I thought it might be you when Yoshikawa told me about a shouting match between the two Tokyo representatives yesterday."

Both Shindou and Touya winced. Actually, by their standards it was a relatively mild argument--which had followed an informal game after Shindou's teaching game the day before--and hardly worth commenting on, Yashirou thought. However, it didn't stop Imashita from giving them a mild rebuff about behaving decorously in the presence of foreigners, so it was probably an eye-opener for him and Yoshikawa.

Predictably, Shindou recovered first. "But you don't have a game in Kyoto," he argued. "Why are you here?"

Imashita said, a severe tone in his voice. "Kuwabara-sensei comes annually to pay respects at his teacher's grave."

"Oh." Shindou looked flummoxed by that. Yashirou guessed that it was difficult to think of Kuwabara Honinbou, who was virtually a fixture in the Go world, as once having had a teacher. "You had a teacher?" Shindou asked.

No. Shindou did not just ask a silly question like that. There was a titter from the watching crowd.

But Kuwabara seemed unruffled. "Unlike you, you mean," he said. "A pity. A good teacher would have taught you better form." He raised his right hand to his chin, as though considering something seriously.

Shindou straightened to his full height--they looked an unusual pair: lanky teenager and slightly wizened old man--and glared. "I'm in fine form everyday, old man," he declared, the stereo effect of astonished gasps from the listeners on both sides not bothering him a whit. "Do you want to play a game?" he asked.

If it had come from anyone else, the challenge would have sounded ridiculous in its presumption. Anyone else of Kuwabara-sensei's stature, Yashirou thought, would have laughed. But Kuwabara only smiled, rather nastily. "Still not tired of trying to beat me, punk?" he asked. He looked up at the ceiling in contemplation. "What was it the last time? Six and a half moku loss, if my memory serves."

"Hah. That was then. I'm going to beat you today," Shindou declared without a pause. "Right here, right now!" He nodded with his chin towards the back. "Let's play now. Let's go!"

Yashirou reflected that Kuwabara's wheezing laughter was every bit as creepy as the rumours promised.

A space in the main competition area had been hastily cleared. They were all lagging behind schedule, but somehow no one wanted to stop Kuwabara-sensei. Yashirou glanced at Touya as they trailed the two opponents towards the table, and saw that his expression had turned anticipatory, as though the game was one he wanted to watch. He could see several incredulous expressions among the foreign players, however; they were undoubtedly thinking that Kuwabara would crush Shindou for sure.

In front, Shindou snorted at a comment Kuwabara made. Yashirou heard him say "you have a dirty mind, old man", before the two of them seated themselves. "Nigiri!" he demanded.

Kuwabara got black and Shindou, white.

Shindou adjusted the go-ke so that it was by his side, and bowed. "Please give me your guidance," he said, his voice a shade more respectful than it had been. He was holding his fan too, Yashirou noticed, a sure sign that he was getting serious.

Kuwabara made a "hm" sound before repeating the words. There was sudden hush as it occurred to the crowd that this could be a serious game.

If it was a serious game, though, Kuwabara didn't seem to be aware of it. The look of glee on his face as he exploited the weaknesses in Shindou's game was more often found on a juvenile delinquent. Shindou's face was in its usual serious cast but a smile quirked at the corners of his mouth now and then. Once, he looked up, and said, very distinctly, "You are a nasty old man, Kuwabara-_sensei,_" and got a bared-teeth grin for his efforts.

Touya was watching Shindou play with his usual intent expression, but Yashirou could tell from his expression that Shindou was taking--even for him--an unusually large number of risks. Kuwabara narrowed his eyes once and said, "You're not going to trick me into making a mistake, punk." To which Shindou responded by sticking out his tongue.

Finally, it was over.

"I give up," Shindou said, throwing up his hands, and pointedly not bowing.

This did not stop the crowd from bursting into applause. Yashirou looked around, thinking how spontaneously the foreign players seemed to be acting.

Shindou looked up at the sound of the applause, astonished, while Touya stepped closer as the applause died away. Kuwabara glanced at him. "What do you think, Touya-kun?" he asked. "Another six and a half moku loss?"

"It looks like it, sensei," he agreed.

Shindou huffed and crossed his arms, refusing to look at either of them.

Yoshikawa took the opportunity to interrupt. "Kuwabara-sensei, it's late. The tournament is ending."

Kuwabara nodded. "So it is," he smirked across the Go board at Shindou. "So much for your boast."

"I'll beat you next time," Shindou retorted.

"Maybe if I gave you two stones..."

"I don't need a handicap from you," Shindou snorted, and looked as though he wanted to argue further, but Imashita stepped in.

"It's late, Shindou," Touya said, "We should be getting back as well."

The crowd dispersed with remarkable speed after that. Yashirou guessed that they had really held up too many schedules with the impromptu game. Some of the foreign participants were returning to their countries the next morning; others that very night.

They waited at the entrance for Yamaguchi, who, had disappeared to retrieve his car. After a while Kuwabara approached in their direction: also waiting for his car, no doubt.

Shindou's eyes fixed on Kuwabara. "Are you staying in a hotel?" he asked.

Kuwabara nodded. "The New Otani," he said. "What is it?" he asked, before his expression turned sly. "I heard that you and Touya-kun are staying with your friend here," he indicated Yashirou. "I would have thought that the two of you would have found a hot-spring somewhere," he said.

Touya and Shindou both turned red at that, and Shindou narrowed his eyes. "I've said before, you are a dirty old man," he said.

"At my age, you have to make your own entertainment." He seemed to think this very funny.

Shindou made a face at the wheezing laugh, frowning when he spotted something in the distance. "That looks familiar..." he said.

Touya asked Yashirou, "Isn't that your dad's car?"

Yashirou frowned as the car pulled up, and his hand went to his pocket. "Oh, I switched my phone off!" he said. "He must be wondering why I was so late today." He went forward hurriedly as the driver's door opened. "Dad, I..."

"Do you have any idea what time it is?" his father said, his gaze taking in the people still hovering at the entrance to convention hall. "You said the event would end in the afternoon."

"I'm sorry," Yashirou said. "But..."

"There was a delay," Shindou said quickly. "I played with er, him, and Yashirou stayed to watch," he indicated Kuwabara, who was watching them curiously. "Yashirou-san, this is Kuwabara-sensei. Sensei, this is Yashirou's father."

Reflecting that Shindou's introduction skills left a lot to be desired as well, Yashirou watched nervously for his dad to snub Kuwabara Honinbou. To his relief, his father only nodded politely, if impersonally. "Pleased to meet you," he said, "Kiyoharu, get in the car. Touya-san and Shindou-san, you too..."

Yamaguchi's car pulled up at that moment, and Yamaguchi got out, apologies tumbling from his lips. "I'm sorry, Yashirou-san, I forgot to call you about the delay!"

Yashirou squirmed when his father only gave a curt nod. "It's all right. I'll drive the three of them back."

Chastened, Yamaguchi nodded. "Of-of course!" he stammered.

Shindou shrugged. "Thanks for the game, old man," he said to Kuwabara, before making his way into the waiting car, where Yashirou's father had already returned to the driver's seat.

Touya bowed. "Kuwabara-sensei, we'll be leaving now," he said.

"Tell your father I'll visit him when he gets back from China," Kuwabara said.

"Of course, sensei." Touya and Yashirou bowed again, before they went to the car, joining Shindou in the car.

As the car began to move, Shindou leaned towards Touya. "What did he say to you?"

"He said he'll visit Father."

Shindou blinked. "He visits your father? To play Go? Huh. I didn't expect that."

"Why not?" Yashirou asked.

"I guess I never thought the old man as somebody who goes around looking for people to play Go with," Shindou said. There was a choked sound from Touya, but Shindou went on, seemingly oblivious. "Besides, he's Kuwabara _Honinbou_. He's been in Go for goodness knows how long. He's senior to nearly everyone. Shouldn't your father visit him instead?"

"Ogata-san says he's afraid he'll lose his mystery if people knew where he lived," Touya said.

Shindou snorted. "That old man just loves to play his little games. Did you see that 'jump' he tried on me? I thought it was an attempt to cut the shape, but he was just bidding his time until he could capture the side!"

"You were careless, and why did you counter with a running attack, anyway? It was just asking to be captured."

Yashirou sat back and thought as the argument descended to schoolboy insults. He had been all but ignored by Kuwabara-sensei. At any other time it wouldn't have bothered him, as Kuwabara obviously had his attention on Shindou only. But the game he'd played with Shindou bothered Yashirou too. Despite being outmatched, Shindou hadn't been the least intimidated, and Kuwabara had taken the game just as seriously. Yet, at the same time, the tight communication between them told Yashirou that it wasn't just venerable Go pros who could be so fully immersed in the game. Shindou was so fluent in thinking about Go and Go strategies that he could have been speaking another language, and Yashirou had been mistaken in thinking that it was a skill shared only between rivals like him and Touya. So all pros had it, too.

"... oh, and do you know how many times you've said 'stupid and risky' to me?" Shindou asked.

"... you're just the same, you keep repeating, 'I should've thought of that', aren't you?" Touya pointed out.

"Six times, Touya, six times!"

"...I never did anything like that..."

As the car hurtled towards home, Yashirou sank into his own thoughts.

***

"Yashirou, Touya and I are going to replay my game with Kuwabara later, and discuss it."

A part of Yashirou wanted to join them, but another part of him felt constricted, as though he was proposing to do open-heart surgery with a steak knife. "I'm a little tired," he said. "I think I'll do my homework before I have an early night."

Both his parents looked up at that.

Shindou looked from him to his parents and frowned. "But..." he began, but Touya tugged at his elbow and they exchanged a look. "Okay," Shindou said instead. "But if you change your mind, we'll be waiting." They bade his parents good night and left the room.

Yashirou helped to bring the dishes to the sink, and was about to go to his room, when his father spoke. "Kiyoharu, what happened?" he asked.

His mother frowned. "Kiyoharu, you've been very quiet during dinner..."

"N-nothing," Yashirou said. "I'll go to my room, I have homework..." He turned, only to find his mother's hand on his shoulder. "Mum..."

"Come and sit down," she urged.

Feeling strangely defenseless, he sat down at the dining table, where his father was nursing a cup of tea.

"I was hearing Shindou-kun talk about his game with that player who came today," his mother commented. "He's a famous player?"

"Very famous," Yashirou mumbled. He forgot to be indignant about his parents' lack of knowledge about Go, even though they had a subscription to _Weekly Go_. Without knowing why, he asked, "Do you think I should give up Go?"

His mother's mouth fell open in an 'o'.

His father stared at him. "I'm delighted to hear it," he said.

Something inside Yashirou sank at that.

"I hope, however," his father went on, after taking a sip of tea from his cup, "that you didn't decide to give up Go because you think you're a failure at it."

"Kiyoharu, surely you don't..." his mother started, only to glance at his father.

Yashirou wondered how he could explain the sense of fracture he felt at the idea of giving up Go. But after the experiences of the last few days, he wondered if he could survive the path of a pro after all. "No, this isn't about that," he said, not even knowing what he was objecting to. He fell silent again. His parents waited. Yashirou reflected that for once they seemed to be interested in his thoughts, and an irrational bubble of amusement rose at the realization that it was only because he proposed giving up Go. His mouth tasted bitter.

He licked his lips. "I watched Shindou play with Kuwabara-sensei today," he said, not knowing how to explain anything at all. He looked down, refusing to meet their faces. "Do you have any idea what an important man he is, and how highly he is respected in the Go world? He has been holding the Honinbou title for more than ten, no, fifteen years. And today he played with Shindou as though Shindou was one of the contenders for the title." He straightened then, raising his head to meet first his mother's eyes, then his father's. "If I can't play like that, then I don't see why being a pro matters anymore."

***

For the second time in as many nights, Shindou was in his room, reading his manga.

"I thought you were recreating this afternoon game and discussing it with Touya," Yashirou said.

"Touya got a telephone call from his father, and I think they're discussing stuff about Touya-sensei's schedule in China, and whether Touya's going with them. I got out so they could discuss me in peace." Shindou rolled his eyes, before his face turned serious again. "Are you all right, Yashirou?"

"I think I gave my parents a heart attack," he said, going to his desk and sorting out his textbooks.

"Eh?!"

Yashirou looked up. "Shindou," he asked seriously. "I know you stopped playing Go once before."

Shindou's expression turned rueful at that. "Yes, I did."

"Why?"

"Because S... because Sai left," Shindou said, turning to look out of the window, as though searching for something. "Why do you ask?"

"Oh." Yashirou rubbed his temples. "Because I've been thinking if I should give up Go, myself."

"What?"

The shock in Shindou's voice made Yashirou feel like laughing. "Just a thought," he lied. "Seeing you and Touya play these days... and my parents... I don't know, maybe I shouldn't insist on having my way so much."

"You're not serious, right?" Shindou exclaimed. "Yashirou, you're a good player!"

"Yes, but at some point I start to think, what's the point of being so strong-willed? It makes everyone so unhappy. And I know..." it was hard to admit, "I've so much to catch up, I've fallen so far back..." The taste of failure was too strong for him to continue.

Shindou turned towards the window, looking into the dark night. "You know," he said thoughtfully, "Among all the people I've played with, Touya has one of the strongest wills to win. But you're like that, too. I thought that the first time we played together."

The memory of that chaotic game made Yashirou thoughtful. It was true: he was brash and full of energy then, and he had been determined to qualify for the Hokuto Cup. But Shindou had played that game with equal ferocity. "How about you?" he asked.

"Me?" Shindou asked, crossing his arms, his brow creasing. "I like the thrill of the game more than anything. My... friend was like that too. All it took for him to be happy was to play Go."

"Sai?" Yashirou asked.

Shindou's lips pursed ruefully. "Yeah. If Touya's focus impressed me, when we first met, it was Sai's devotion to Go that intrigued me." He muttered something else that Yashirou only managed to decipher as 'but not drown myself over it...'

"What?" he asked.

"Nothing," Shindou said quickly. "Anyway, thinking too much about winning just makes me nervous," he went on after a while. "I can't focus on winning like Touya does. Or like you." He turned on his seat to face Yashirou. "And that is why you will catch up. Because it just isn't in you to admit defeat."

Shindou's confidence touched Yashirou. Truly, Shindou was unlike many pros in that he didn't seem to fear being overtaken by anyone--he seemed to take it for granted that the goal of becoming a better player was one shared by everyone. He genuinely didn't understand those who were in the Go world only for the prestige. The sense of obsession was at once familiar and shocking. Perhaps he didn't have to give up, Yashirou thought hazily. At least not yet. "I won't," he said, not sure whether he believed his own words, but needing to make a reply just the same. "I won't give up on Go," he said, tasting bitterness.

-------------------

"Isn't that the move Shuusaku used in his game with Jowa?"

"In the castle games? Yes, the one they played in the winter. You're really much too familiar with Shuusaku's games," Touya's voice said. There was a pause, then: "What were you talking about with Yashirou last night? You were very quiet when you got back."

Shindou didn't answer, though Yashirou strained his ears for any sound at all.

"Shindou?" Touya pressed.

There was the rustle of clothes and blankets, as though someone was moving around on the futon. "Yashirou said he was thinking of giving up Go," Shindou finally said.

Yashirou listened for Touya's reply, suddenly seized with the idea that the pro's answer would make or break the promise he made to Shindou.

But he only heard Touya say, "Is that so?"

"Touya!" Shindou exclaimed. "This is important. Yashirou can't give up Go!"

Another hesitation. "I don't think you can make the decision for him."

"Touya!" Shindou repeated. "I swear, there are times when I could.... Yashirou is a really good player and he loves Go... you know that he _can't_ give up."

"Isn't Yashirou capable of knowing his own mind by now?" Touya asked, a pointed note entering his tone. "I've been expecting him to come up with something that melodramatic."

"What?" Shindou exclaimed. Outside, Yashirou was silently mouthing the same word.

"It's typical of him and those flashy moves he likes so much. He goes for grand gestures, rather than falling back to re-think his defenses and catch up from a disadvantageous set-up. If he's unable to think about his Go career rationally, he'll never make it as a Go pro."

There was the sound of growling. "You... you... " Another rustle, this one of futons being pushed to one side, and heavy footfalls that indicated that someone had just stood up. "...just because everything's gone smoothly for you since you were the age of two, doesn't mean that it's the same for everyone else!" Shindou lectured.

"What do you mean, everything has gone smoothly for me?" Touya asked. "Are you forgetting our first game?"

"I..."

"I thought about quitting Go then, too."

"You?" Shindou sounded disbelieving. "Everyone's had such high expectations of you, and you're a natural at Go. Just look at the way you dragged me off for that second game. Anyone would think that you were dying to play Go."

"That doesn't mean I don't have doubts now and then."

"Your Dad is Touya Meijin. You've been climbing the ranks since you made pro... Most importantly, your life revolves around Go. The sun would sooner set in the east than you quit Go."

"You make it sound like I don't have any life at all." Touya sounded curious rather than offended, however.

"You have me," Shindou said, sounding as though he was concentrating on something else.

"Hikaru?" Touya's voice was just a little tight. Belatedly realizing the significance of Shindou's utterance, Yashirou reflected that this was probably the most direct declaration of Shindou's... feelings that Touya was going to get.

Shindou probably wasn't even aware of the lack. He continued, sounding as though he were preoccupied. "What was I saying... oh yes. Back to Yashirou. Don't you think you should cut him some slack? He's been having a hard time with his parents, and he can't always take part in all of the title preliminaries because of them. You're expecting too much of him..."

Touya's voice, when he replied, sounded more severe than Yashirou ever remembered. "He's behaving like a child," he said. The tone of his voice indicated that he was finding it frustrating to match Shindou's change of topic. "You told me that two nights ago, Yashirou had an argument with his parents over the fact that he wanted to concentrate on Go and forego the university entrance exams. Yesterday evening he broached the idea of quitting Go. He changes his mind on a whim, and he should make up his mind exactly what he wants to do with his life."

"But..."

"Why does it bother you so much?"

There was a mumble, which Yashirou couldn't catch. "Because of Sai?" Touya finally asked.

"I stopped playing when he left," Shindou's voice was low. "I remember what it's like to be at a crossroads too."

"And you believe that Go is the right path to take?"

"Don't you?" Shindou challenged.

There was something that sounded like a sigh; it was hard to tell from behind the door. Yashirou strained his ears, torn between anger and guilt. What Touya said was true: he had changed his mind far too quickly. He didn't know what to do about his Go, and instead of thinking it through properly, he had latched on to the simplest solutions: all Go, or nothing. There was bitterness in the fact that he had fallen behind in his Go compared to Shindou, but failure was part of life--and especially of Go life.

Another rustle of clothing or something soft, then another set of footfalls joined Shindou's. "I had always thought that as long as I had my father as my target," Touya said, his voice serious, "I would one day reach the Hand of God. It was such a natural, direct path. Then I met you, and suddenly my path wasn't so direct anymore."

"You reached back and you pulled me along, you know," Shindou said, "though at that time, you thought it was the other way round."

"I was chasing Sai."

"And I was chasing you."

"What a strange race, it has been."

Shindou said, "And it's not over yet, Akira." A pause. "Come on, help me tidy this up, I want to reach the Kansai Go Institute early, before the game between Nishiyama-san and Obuchi-san."

Yashirou belatedly remembered that they had made plans to observe the two pros, both 6-dans, play in the second preliminary game for the Kisei title. Actually, his feet were aching from standing outside their room; he wondered if this would be a good time to interrupt them, or to go back to his own room.

Shindou was still talking, though. "Would you believe," he said, "at one time I didn't even realise that you could become a pro when you were still in junior high? I was just content to keep learning and playing with the Go club, and my goal was just to take part in the Kaio Go tournament with Tsutsui-san an Mitani, and not much else."

Yashirou had to pause to take in the idea of Shindou Hikaru playing amateur Go. That sounded about as likely as Yashirou turning into a businessman like his father. Touya made a murmuring sound; probably expressing the same disbelief.

"By accident, I met the captain of the Kaio Go Club. He was the one who told me that you were already a pro. You can imagine how naïve I was, then, how far behind you I was."

"What did you do?"

"I went to the Institute as soon as I could, and asked... no, demanded to take the insei exam." Shindou gave a self-deprecating laugh at that.

Trust Shindou to take action immediately: it fit with what Yashirou knew of his personality. He was struck anew at how intent Shindou could be when he set his mind on a goal. And to think that there were still people who regarded him as nothing more than a loudmouth.

"I think Ogata-san told that story once."

"Yeah. He recommended me... or acted as my sponsor... I think. Wait, I think I know what to do!"

"Hikaru? What do you mean?"

"About Yashirou," Shindou said. "What time is it?"

"Just after eight."

"Perfect. I'm going to go out just for a moment."

"Shindou, what... Hikaru! Um..."

There were no other sounds for a moment, and Yashirou was just about to knock on the door, when it opened to show Shindou, already dressed to go out. He blinked in astonishment. "Yashirou! Good morning!"

"Good... good morning," Yashirou managed to say. _What do you mean, you know what to do about me?_ he asked silently. He peered over Shindou's shoulder and saw Touya, touching his fingertips to his lips before letting them fall away.

"Good morning, Yashirou-san," Touya said, sounding just a little more formal than usual. Yashirou returned the greeting. He glanced at Shindou. "Where are you going at this hour, Shindou?" he asked.

"It's..." Shindou looked from him to Yashirou. "I can't say yet. I have to see if he agrees! I'll be back as soon as I can. If I don't get back in time, go to the Institute first, okay? I'll meet you there. Bye!"

Before Touya or Yashirou could say anything, he had reached the front door and had rushed out. Yashirou frowned at Touya, remembering Touya's remarks about him being melodramatic and tried to hide his indignation. "Who's the 'he' Shindou was talking about? Touya, do you know?" he asked.

Silently, Touya shook his head.

***

The game between Nishiyama and Obuchi ended with the latter winning by half a moku. Touya nodded to himself, eyeing the game under discussion thoughtfully. He was due to play Obuchi next in the second Honinbou preliminaries, and the older pro had showed that he was a particularly quick player who preferred direct, yet devastating attacks until he dominated the Go board. Touya reminded himself not to underestimate the man. Although playing with Shindou was always a learning experience, there was much to pick up by playing in official games with other players, too. Speaking of Shindou...

Touya glanced to his side, where Shindou was discussing Obuchi's corner attack with another pro. Shindou had arrived a good ten minutes after the game started, and they hadn't had an opportunity to talk properly yet. He could see that Yashirou, too, was glancing at Shindou with real curiosity. Both of them wanted to know what Shindou was up to.

It was nearly night when they finished the discussion, and Yamaguchi turned up, preparing to drive them back. It was Touya and Shindou's last night in Kyoto; they were returning to Tokyo the next morning. Once they were in the car, however, Shindou turned to Yamaguchi.

"Yamaguchi-san, would you mind driving us to the New Otani instead?" he asked.

"What?" the older pro frowned at the unusual request. "Why?"

Yashirou glanced at Touya in question, but he looked just as puzzled. "Shindou, what are you doing?" Touya asked.

Shindou grinned, his face looking slightly anticipatory. Oddly, Yashirou was reminded of the last time he saw that expression: it was right before Shindou swooped in with an attack that, unless properly countered, often had the potential to take over a good half of the Go board.

It seemed that Touya was familiar with the expression too. "Shindou, you're up to something," he accused.

"You make it sound like I'm doing something wrong. Don't worry, Yoshikawa-sensei knows all about it!" Shindou said.

Shindou's attempts to be mysterious were failing in a spectacular fashion. "Shindou!" Yashirou exclaimed.

"Really." Shindou nodded. "Yamaguchi-san, would you mind?" He pointed out of the window. "I think that's the exit we have to take."

"Oh!" Yamaguchi said. Still frowning, he cut across two lanes to reach the turn-off just as the traffic lights were turning amber, and made an abrupt turn to the right.

Shindou yelped and fell into Touya's lap.

***

The New Otani was one of those hotels that had been built about twenty years ago, at the height of Japan's economic success, and had at one time been one of the most expensive hotels in the country. Now, however, its luxurious façade was slightly faded and it had a decadently old-fashioned look to it. The service was still impeccable, though. The bowing doorman welcomed them into the lobby. Yamaguchi was with them, having surrendered his car to the valet at the entrance.

"Sensei!" Yashirou said.

Sure enough, it was Yoshikawa, who was dressed in a suit, and approaching them. "Good, you've made it in time," Yoshikawa said. "Come on," he said to them.

"But..." Yashirou said, but he followed his teacher to the elevators. Shindou, Touya and Yamaguchi trooped in after them into a waiting elevator.

When the door to the hotel room opened, Yashirou embarrassed himself by loudly exclaiming, "Kuwabara-sensei!"

Kuwabara Honinbou looked more formidable than ever, standing at the doorway, not quite glaring at them. Yashirou gulped.

Shindou, fearless as ever, only stepped forward with a slight bow. "Good evening, Kuwabara-sensei," he said.

Kuwabara looked down--not precisely at him, but at the space between him and Touya. It was then Yashirou noticed that Shindou and Touya were holding hands. At that precise moment, Shindou and Touya let each other's hands go, and Kuwabara started laughing.

"Kuwabara-sensei!" Shindou protested as the other pro pretended to hang on to the door for support while he laughed. Yamaguchi and Yoshikawa, who hadn't seen their hands, merely looked back and forth in puzzlement, but neither seemed inclined to raise any questions.

Still wheezing, Kuwabara-sensei turned and motioned them into the room.

Shindou and Touya didn't look at each other, Yashirou noticed, as they walked into a neatly furnished suite, though he thought Touya's face was a little flushed.

"This..." he exclaimed, when they turned into the little sitting area, where a Go board and stones had been prepared. The sight shouldn't have been that surprising; after all, Go boards were always prepared beforehand for Go players when they stayed in hotels, much less for someone like Kuwabara Honinbou.

Then Kuwabara Honinbou's eyes were on him. "Yashirou Kiyoharu, right?" he asked, the laughter gone from his eyes and the lines in his face making him looking more inscrutable than ever.

Yashirou felt as though the old man had the ability to look into his skin and see every doubt magnified manifold inside him. He felt ridiculously small; the old man seemed to be many times taller. He suddenly knew why more than a few pros called Kuwabara 'scary'. His lips—no, his entire face—seemed to be frozen in a rictus of pure ferocity."Good... Good evening, Kuwabara-sensei," he managed, his throat feeling like sandpaper.

"Sit down," the older pro ordered.

"What..."

Kuwabara gave him another glare. "You wanted to play with me, right?" he asked. "Sit down."

"But..." he glanced around, feeling his heart beating rapidly, and met Shindou's eyes. The other shoe dropped. "Shindou!"

Shindou looked as sheepish as they came. "Er, Yashirou... I didn't want you to get too nervous," he said.

"Well?" Kuwabara asked. "Don't tell me you have changed your mind after all, kid. Not after I cancelled my evening plans for you."

There was _no_ way Yashirou was going to tell Kuwabara Honinbou that Shindou had set the two of them up. With legs that felt like rubber, he walked over to the Go board, and sat down.

It was only after the nigiri that the real import of what he was doing fell on Yashirou. He was playing a game with Kuwabara Honinbou. An even game, without any handicaps. It was not an official game, but Kuwabara looked serious--even more serious than he had been when he played with Shindou, it seemed. Shindou and Touya were watching; so were Yamaguchi and his teacher. He didn't know what Shindou had said to them, but it was clear that they expected him to play a proper game. There was really no way out, and to his astonishment, Yashirou realized that he didn't really want to run away either. Maybe he could really see for himself what it was like to play someone like Kuwabara Honinbou. After all, Shindou had done it. Gripping the side of the table to hide the trembling in his hands, he bowed over the Go board. "Please give me your guidance," he said.

By the time Yashirou resigned, sweat was running down his face.

"Huh," Kuwabara said after a while. "At least the punk did not exaggerate," he commented.

Yashirou croaked, "What?" before he realized that the word 'punk' referred to Shindou.

"He said you were a bold player," Kuwabara said, leaning back, and lighting a cigarette. "He was right." He looked down at the Go board again.

Kuwabara had the advantage right from the beginning, Yashirou acknowledged to himself. He had had two choices: he could play to the best of his ability, or he could surrender immediately. Yet, knowing that Touya was watching, Yashirou could not find it in himself to give up so quickly. He remembered Touya's appraisal of him from that morning. He was not a child. He would play his 'flashy' moves, he would crash and burn, but he wasn't going to bow down without a fight in front of Touya Akira.

Well, he knew now what he should have done right at the beginning.

Most people thought of Touya as someone who was modest and polite, while Shindou was boisterous and noisy. But Touya was not really modest--he simply knew his own abilities very, very well, and his confidence came from that. He was unlike Shindou, whose game advanced and even evolved without him realising it. No wonder Shindou said Touya had stopped to pull him into the Go world. Was that what Shindou was trying to do for him too, he wondered. To drag him along in the race towards the Hand of God?

Everything was moving so quickly, since Shindou and Touya came to Kyoto. Shindou had passed him. They had competed against each other two years ago, but now Shindou was far better. Just the comparison of their games with Kuwabara Honinbou showed that. Fifteen-and-a-half moku loss: the 'old man' was merciless, as advertised.

And Touya had passed him a long time ago. Both of them were speeding out of his league.

He bowed again, feeling his whole body soften at the motion. "Thank you for the game," he said. He stood up. "Excuse me, I need to get back..." he said, and stumbled for the door, ignoring Shindou's shouts at him.

***

His mother was standing at the door, waiting as Yashirou nearly emptied his wallet for the taxi fare. He swallowed when he saw that his father was standing just behind her, waiting as he walked towards them.

"Shindou-kun called us. He said you had left suddenly," his mother began, but Yashirou tried not to listen, and instead tried to push past her. "Kiyoharu!" she exclaimed.

He turned back. His parents were frowning, much like the time Yashirou had told them he had qualified as pro. "We need to talk," he decided, remembering how severely his joy had been dented at their disapproval then.

***

It was a distinctly different experience to be caught eavesdropping, Yashirou decided. His mother had an uncertain look on her face, and she adjusted her hold the tray she was carrying. His father, too, looked as though he couldn't decide whether to knock on the door or to leave. Inside the temporary guest room, Shindou and Touya were talking.

"Well, Yashirou gave the old man a good surprise, you can't deny that," the louder voice said. Shindou, of course.

"Only you, Shindou, would think of doing something like that," Touya's voice was severe.

"But Yashirou was going to give up on Go! I couldn't let that happen! I had to do something."

"And getting crushed by Kuwabara-sensei will help him to dissuade him?"

"Er..."

"The problem with you, Shindou, is that you do things without thinking it over. And now you owe Kuwabara-sensei a favour, too."

"I can deal with the old man," Shindou said.

"What about Yashirou, then?"

"I thought it would help!" Shindou protested. "To fear and yet to go on and fight: that's how you grow."

"What?"

"Morishita-sensei said it once. So did your father." There was a longer pause. "And Sai... he said it too."

"Shindou..."

"So many people played online with Sai. They didn't know who he was, but they could see how strong he was. He had an undefeated record, but everyone wanted to play with him. They must have feared his ability, but they wanted to play with him. That, Akira, is what Go is about. That's what you did, wasn't it? When we first played? And after? You can't improve and you can't reach the Hand of Go unless you face up to the opponents, even if you fear them."

"Ah." Touya sounded reflective. "And this is what you were trying to do for Yashirou?"

Shindou's voice was uncharacteristically sulky. "I thought it would help," he said.

"Hikaru, not everyone likes to be beaten over the head with how much they..." Touya paused, evidently at a loss at how to continue.

"Suck?" Shindou asked.

There was a silence. Yashirou spluttered.

"Who's that?" Touya asked, his voice suddenly sharp.

The game was up; Yashirou exchanged a look with his parents--his mother was blushing--before he knocked on the door. "Shindou, Touya, good morning. I came to remind you that my father was driving you to the station."

After a pause, the door opened, and Shindou blinked to see all three members of the Yashirou family waiting outside. "Good morning, Yashirou-san," he bowed slightly at his parents. "Excuse me, we were just checking to be sure we haven't left anything behind," he explained.

"Good morning, Shindou-kun, Touya-kun," his mother said. "I've brought you something to drink before you go to the station."

Yashirou had to marvel at how quickly his mother recovered her composure.

Touya appeared behind Shindou, and bowed as well. "Thank you, Yashirou-san, for taking the trouble. Please," he pulled Shindou back a little, inviting them to enter.

The guest room was neat and impeccable as ever. Yashirou's mother set down her tray on a table, and turned to their houseguests. "Is everything packed?" she asked.

"Er, yes," Shindou answered, though his eyes were on Yashirou.

***

Yashirou got out at the station entrance. "I'll go back on my own later," he told his father. "I want to talk to Shindou and Touya for a while first."

His father nodded and drove away. Yashirou paused as he turned to the other two pros, not knowing what to say. Shindou glanced at Touya, and his eyes focused on him.

"Yashirou..."

"Shindou..." Yashirou said at the same time, noticing their linked hands. He was suddenly filled with a sense of peace, knowing that whatever happened in the future, friends like Shindou and Touya would always be in his life. "Don't worry," he said. "I had a talk with my parents last night," he said. "It's all right."

Shindou looked as though he wanted to say more, but he glanced at his watch.

"I'll go and get the tickets ready," Touya said. "Shindou, why don't you wait here with Yashirou?" Without another word, he disappeared inside the station.

Shindou's eyes were keen as they watched Yashirou. "Is it really okay, Yashirou?" he asked.

Yashirou nodded. "Well, it's not perfect," he admitted, looking down the road where his father had driven. "They still think I should go to university," he said, shrugging, "but they are willing to see it my way for now. And after that game with Kuwabara-sensei yesterday... I never thanked you for arranging that too, Shindou..."

Shindou, who was already looking more relieved at his words, waved his hands. "I'm glad I didn't mess it up for you..." he suddenly looked anxious. "Did I?" he asked.

Yashirou relaxed. "He did crush me into pieces," he admitted. "But I've realised something, Shindou. I want to play another game with him, one day. With him and other higher-ranking pros. It doesn't matter if I'm not there yet. I'll work harder, and I'll catch up to their level one day. Until I've put all of myself into that, I don't have the right to give up. So watch out, Shindou. I'll play with you on your level one day, too."

The challenge made Shindou's eyes turn serious. "Good. I'm looking forward to that," he said. "The more competition we face, the further we must improve," he nodded to himself.

"Are you saying that we have to take bigger steps?" he asked, curious at Shindou's interpretation.

Shindou nodded, looking positively excited. "Yes! Bigger and bigger steps, and one day I'll take that major step and reach the Hand of God!"

"Are you talking about reaching the Hand of God with Yashirou?" Touya's voice enquired.

Shindou and Yashirou both jumped. "Akira!" Shindou exclaimed. "Do you have to sneak up on me like that?"

Touya's expression indicated that he was close to rolling his eyes. He had approached from the side, and he was holding two tickets. "Don't blame your lack of attention on me. I called your name, but you didn't reply."

"Uh-huh," Shindou exclaimed. "But don't worry, I'm not about to abandon you in the path towards the Hand of God," he said, then grinned, before he leant out and slung an arm around Touya. "I'll just reach it before you."

***

Yashirou took a deep breath as he watched Shindou and Touya make their way towards the train platform. Back to work. He started to walk towards the nearest bus station, and stopped in surprise as his father's car pulled in beside him. "Dad," he said, as the window rolled down. "Aren't you supposed to be at work?"

His father's frown-lines were particularly prominent that morning, Yashirou noted, but unlike all the times Yashirou had seen him frowning, he didn't seem angry. "Get in," his father said. "I'll drive you to your sensei's place."

---------the end------------


End file.
